Monthly Archives: May 2011

Ritual Coffee Roasters- San Francisco

From the throne I can just see,

my face in the mirror peering back at me.

Now I can know the expressions I make,

but that’s an opportunity I just couldn’t take.


Some Church – Montgomery, AL

A guy named Jack* once had to wee,

as he often did,  so God decreed.

But this is what he really wants to know:

is it a sin using His parking lot to go?

*name changed ’cause it’s a true story!


Philz Coffee- San Francisco

Just when I thought, sadly,

the days of  graffiti were through,

into my life comes this lav,

to make my cave-painting dreams come true!

So ‘scuse me if I take awhile,

in this wall-reader’s Shangri-La.

Think I’ll add my own bit of wisdom:

“I didn’t buy, but rented the java!”


La Trappe Cafe – San Francisco

The basis of Art Nouveau is the wispy whiplash line,

as Mucha so superbly demonstrates.

But no matter how much I wiggle on the seat,

I can’t get my pee-stream to replicate!


Dynamo Donuts – San Francisco

Cool Like Donuts

I unroll the toilet paper, fashion myself a crown,

and continue on to create a toilet paper gown.

I’m looking pretty spiffy

but things might get a bit iffy

when this fabulous sugar rush crashes down.


Air Force Academy Hospital- Colorado Springs

I never before worried

about dying in the can.

But now I only want to pee here

lest a nurse needs to lend a hand.


The Original Pancake House – Los Angeles

Their buckwheat pancakes are the best,

Before leaving I always come here to rest.

But never do I really need to go-

those pancakes seem to quench the flow.


Planet Earth Eco Cafe – Hermosa Beach, CA

Sittin’ alone with a mocha and scone,

giving my poor sun-burned feet a breather.

It’s so peaceful here, and the day is so clear,

but my bladder, so sadly, is neither.

But I’m not distressed; there’s a room just for rest!

And no worry of stranger intrusion.

For on the doorjamb, there’s a nice diagram,

so the lock will allow my seclusion!


Meltdown Comics – Los Angeles

This cool restroom has its own flair,

but what makes it even more sweet,

is knowing Chris Hardwick has set his derriere,

on this very same toilet seat!


At the Lady Doctor’s- Colorado Springs

What’s the big deal with this poster?

It may as well tell you how to use a toaster.

Instead I feel slightly scarred.

Guess I’ll turn in my ‘Unflappable’ card.