Monthly Archives: September 2011

Best Buy – Colorado Springs

I’ve heard you can’t polish poop

but Adam and Jamie say “Busted!”

So would one need a jewelers’ loupe

to ID the stones in my ring so encrusted?

Crave Burger – Colorado Springs











If an alien offered me a ride,

a trip through galaxies so legion,

to witness distant planets glide,

’round their own suns far from our region;

To drink bubbly Betelgeusian wine,

distilled from interplanetary gas,

I’d have to politely decline,

’cause their toilets won’t fit my human ass!

Sacred Grounds Coffee in the Canyon – Colorado Springs

The prompt was “lavatory” -oh lucky me!

On this subject I had plenty to say.

I ran and ran with it, not hearing their plea-

“We said ‘laboratory!’” and they hooked me away.


La Baguette has Another Restroom! – Old Colorado City

Alas, what are exhibitionists to do,

when yonder window has been made opaque?

All those poor souls on the other side now chew

unseen and unwatched while their hearts ache.

This may be a retail store downtown – Colorado Springs

Were I a celebrity, so admired,

[I’d be so beautifully plastic I couldn’t even “crack” a smile]

is this where my time would transpire?

[negotiating  appearance fees via phone away from the rank and file]

To evade those who want but a souvenir of me,

[so enamored are they of my feminine wiles]

and would they then creep after for a sample of my pee?

Perhaps La Baguette- Old Colorado City

Blue, blue, this room is blue

and oh look, my pee is too!

What happened to the color of the sun?

This blue is drab and not much fun.

Alas, I think the color is here to stay,

ever since summer went away.


Blue Star? I’m gonna say The Blue Star – Colorado Springs

If I stay here for a long enough time,

I’ll make a new friend or two.

But for new partners in crime,

I think head downtown to Taco Bell’s loo.

Hapa Sushi- Denver

With the lavatory empty but for me,

I told funny stories to the tiles.

Jokes and punchlines streamed forth like pee,

the toilets gleefully gurgled all the while!

We’ll just call this one “George”

If I have to face the end of the world alone,

I’ll do it riding on this throne,

pondering existence and its meaning,

while God executes his spring cleaning.

A visitor center, perhaps?

I felt like a guest too early to the party,

peeing all alone in this cavernous latrine.

Thus I invited a strange lady whose laugh was so hearty,

And she insisted on bringing her own tambourine!

We whooped and ate cake and had so much fun,

We totally forgot to go number 1!