Were I a celebrity, so admired,
[I’d be so beautifully plastic I couldn’t even “crack” a smile]
is this where my time would transpire?
[negotiating appearance fees via phone away from the rank and file]
To evade those who want but a souvenir of me,
[so enamored are they of my feminine wiles]
and would they then creep after for a sample of my pee?