Monthly Archives: March 2012

Please Knock

What could I do?

I had scarcely sat and docked!

I felt trapped and exposed,

When I saw I left the door unlocked!

Advertisements

A World without Doors

Why, yes, it’s a two-seater!

Why did no one think of this before!

Perhaps the world would be a bit sweeter,

if all our peeing was sans doors.

 

BONUS! Grafitti:

“Oh gag me… I think he just licked my arm”

One can only guess what this is supposed to be, or where it came from. But then, I didn’t google it. Perhaps one of you knows what this is?

 

 


It’s So… Tile-y!

All this shiny tiled opulence,

and all of it for free!

We take for granted our privilege,

of having someplace clean to pee.

 

 


Bo-ring!

Requiring no effort at all from us,

Taking a piss is a boring task.

Women look like we’re awaiting a bus,

And men assume a disinterested mask.

So I pretend I sit instead,

Straddled o’er a screaming death’s head !


Can’t Relax

Snuggled safe and warm,

On this massage table

Stress melting away

Eyelids so heavy.

All is right in this moment

As hands stroke and soothe

Just on the edge of complete surrender.

 

But my bladder brings me back

Yanks me from my sea of tranquility

Relaxation is always a promise, never fulfilled.

 

My hot feet in cool water

My bum in sun-sodden sand

Ocean breeze wicks away all thought

I float off into a trance.

 

But my bladder brings me back

Yanks me from my sea of tranquility

Relaxation is always a promise, never fulfilled.

 

This torture has got to end

My frustration cannot stand

So I’m just gonna start wetting myself

And societal rules can kiss my butt


Beware, Puny Humans

I eat fire to break my fast,

and belch it out to cook my dinner.

My culinary skills are unsurpassed,

I, like all dragons, am a winner!

I am beautiful, cruel and majestic,

I have no time for things routine.

I abhor all things domestic,

So I fart fire into your latrines!