Steaming Bean – Telluride, CO

On a night so dark and dreary,

whenI was feeling weary,

I needed someplace cheery,

and this restroom lurked so near-y.

So I skulked inside,

then I gasped! I cried!

Because I had spied,

in the mirror’s shiny side

an image not of me, but Hyde!

For I had become angry-

I had turned irate-

the wall held no words of 4 letters,

instead it was covered in slate!

Worse, no chalk I could find,

for me to speak my mind,

about this unspeakable crime!

I’ve never been so malcontent!

My rage would not relent.

I felt as powerless at the 99%!

I could only sit, bored, as I went,

with nothing to read but upcoming events.

Solar Roast Coffee – Pueblo, CO

Using the sun to roast your beans,

what a clever design!

But would it be so obscene

for the sun to warm my behind?

 

Safeway – Alamosa, CO

To think this room was once pristine,

beautiful, shiny and new.

Now it’s a grimy and worn latrine.

Just like us, with all the crap we accrue!

 

Mouse’s Chocolate – Ouray, CO

You can slip off your high heels,

you can cradle a cuppa tea,

you can put on soothing music,

but you can’t relax ’til you pee!

Mountain Market – Ridgeway, CO

Rust is grimy and seldom pretty;

it’s not the epitome of clean.

So I was heartened to see the walls by the potty,

had lost none of their immaculate sheen!

La Cocina de Luz – Telluride, CO

The days are aflame with orange and red,

and are becoming shorter and cool.

Soon I’ll be treating the cute undead,

and other such monstrous ghouls.

But though summer has long since fled,

I can still drop the kids off at the pool.

Gas Station – Walsenburg, CO

 

I ran away to see the world unwound;

to find secrets promised to astound.

Because fortune is made not found,

I couldn’t count on luck inbound.

So I trusted public restrooms would abound

on my journey the whole world ’round.

 

Floradora Saloon – Telluride, CO

 

 

I started a bar fight,

it seemed the thing to do.

I started a bar fight,

just ’cause she said boo.

We fought on the bar top,

we scratched in the closet,

we bit by the floor mop,

no blood drawn, just spit.

We crawled to the bathroom,

where I could void my bladder.

I don’t wanna fight no more,

which just makes her madder.

 

Cosmopolitan – Telluride, CO

My brother and I, when we were but wee,

we used to competitively pee,

but the difference in mechanics made it unfair–

He had the distance, but  I had the force.

So I found same-gender opponents, of course.

In my stall I tally points but they’re unaware.

Salvation Army – Colorado Springs

When it’s the toilet you’re needing,

But the current user is impeding,

Because of the limited seating,

You vow to give them a beating,

For their inconsiderate bathroom reading.